The comments pretty much boiled down to:* I appreciate the points you made about the quality of writing "But your intro really sets you up for failur...."It did. My syntax was terrible, the dialog was flat and so on and so-forth (my main character had three different names.)* There was one in particular by a "Vickie" that hit the nail on the head. The nicest part: "You're so self-consciously self-contradictory, self-vaunting and self-evasive, I hardly know where to begin. So I'll won't begin.. Se kahile hau tume jao khai deba au mu vitarakuasili.mote tanka akhire kemti gote sexual feeling jana padila mote kemti kemti laguthae.ta paremu gadhoiba ku gali tubel pakha ku upara kitchen talaku ama tubel ta mane badi pataku .mushot pant re gadhouthae uparu rosie gharu gas stand ru basi aneile tubel dekha jae .mu panidhali heu thae au kacha jhum jhum hebare sunili bhabile aunty bodhe e room upare achantiemti praya 2 4 thara hela mu janithili se room ru tubel pura dekha jae mu bhabile se. No one had licked her in years and it felt so good. She moved her hands, held Aman’s hair and pushed his head even further between her legs.“Lick me baby”, she requested.Aman inserted his tongue even further inside. Amrita’s clit was flowing with juices. Aman licked them all clean and kept licking her.He suddenly felt Amrita’s body trembling. Amrita had a sensation she could not comprehend. She was getting high, it was as if her mind was on drugs. Her body was shaking uncontrollably and her. My pussy was already well moistened as I had been in a constant state of arousal from the moment I'd woken up this morning. The thought of meeting this man, my perfect man, was driving me into lustful fits, and I had to have satisfaction as soon as possible. I ground my swollen mons against his lap. Focusing my hung over partner, I held his face close to mine with both hands, devouring his tongue. With each breath I locked his eyes with mine. With each wanton stare I felt his cock surging to.
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